After Sawyer's accident I unplugged...from Facebook and from blogging (not that I was ever really consistant with either). Looking back, I know why I did it.
I felt so exposed.
I wrote of Sawyer's accident because I only wanted to have to tell the story once. I knew God healed my son and that it was a miracle and I needed to give Him glory. But to be totally honest, it left me feeling like I was standing naked in front of an audience. I was traumatized by what we experienced that day. I can say, however, that God is great, and He not only miraculously healed my son, he has done much to heal my heart and mind as well.
Since that day, we have had another child, Violet Francesca...the sweetest, happiest, most easy going baby ever. Having her changed my life, mostly because it forced me to slow down, to not take on anything else, but especially b/c God became more important to me on a whole new level.
The last thing I want to do here is to give myself a boost, to make myself look holy or great...because the truth is I am very weak. So weak in fact that things were so intense during my pregnancy and the first 18 months of her life that I learned that if I even went one day without time with my Father, I completely fell apart. He was tangibly my Strength, my Hope, and He never once left me. I began a habit of spending every morning with Him...writing down usually 5 things I was thankful for and then reading the Bible. Then when the day became insane (3 children under 3= 'nuf said), I just knew He was there and guiding me, even allowing me to enjoy it...having Violet proved to me that I really can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
When I speak of my relationship with God, I need you to know that I am not boasting...I believe it is God's desire to have a personal relationship with His children, just as I long to have a relationship with my own. I love Him...with ALL my heart, and I'm learning to believe that He really loves me too. And if He loves me, He definitely loves you. While God may not speak to you in exactly the same way He speaks to me, I promise you He still longs to speak with you. He longs to go from being "out there" to being so close you can feel Him.
I have been thinking about blogging for awhile...and I thought that perhaps others may want to watch with me, to see all the crazy ways God is going to move. I realize I may at times feel naked in front of an audience, but so long as the glory goes to Him, it's completely worth it. Join me in this exciting journey, it's going to be miraculous.
10/15/2012
1/14/2010
4 Minutes...
So we took Sawyer to the doctor today for his post-hospital checkup. While weighine Sawyer, I asked the nurse if she'd ever seen this before and she said she had seen it many times but never with this good of an outcome, meaning that he survived and that he recovered so quickly and appears in every way to have had no permanent brain damage. She explained that the brain is only able to go for 4 minutes without oxygen before experiencing permanent brain damage. She said, "Have you been asking yourself, if only I'd gone in to check on him an hour earlier?", and I said, "YES! I've struggled so much feeling like I should've checked on him sooner". She said, "It wouldn't have mattered if you had checked on him an hour sooner, you only had a tiny window of catching this and you did." I cried! Even now as I type this I am laughing and crying! How can we deny God's goodness? Somehow He got me to go check on my little boy in that tiny time frame. AMAZING.
1/08/2010
What happened to Sawyer
Oh wow, where to begin? I am at the hospital right now, thought it would be good to update facebook just to give everyone the same news. I just read Chantel's posts and am literally sitting here crying b/c I cannot even believe the amount of people praying for our little boy. We feel those prayers and appreciate them more than anything else.
Yesterday morning began as usual except that it was -20 outside. I am always concerned about my children being cold so I had my little Sawyer bundled up in nice fleece pajamas and laid him down for his morning nap in our bedroom, the room furthest from the noise of the rest of the house so he could get some good quiet sleep. He fell asleep on his side with our down comforter at his back kind of propping him up. I may have even covered him up with it a little, I can't quite remember. Sawyer is a great napper and it is not unusual for him to sleep 2+ hours especially in the morning. I hadn't heard from him for awhile so decided to go check on him. I went to our room and found that he had pulled the covers over his head, and when I lifted them up my little boy was staring into nothing and barely breathing. I have no idea how long he was like that or even if he had been crying and I just hadn't heard him. He was covered in sweat and his coloring was grey. I called 911 immediately and tried to keep him from falling asleep. He was rushed to the ER in an ambulance and later admitted into the pediatrics intensive care unit. He was unresponsive most of the day, meaning his vitals were good but they would shine a light in his eyes and nothing, or pick up his arm and it would immediately fall limp. He didn't even so much as cry when he was given an iv or catheter. Throughout the day Sawyer was put on multiple prayer chains across the US and as the day went on our little Soy Soy started to become more and more with it.
Sawyer started to become more himself yesterday evening…becoming angry when he was hungry (which is typical of him), and even gave me a sweet smile last night, something that absolutely brought tears to my eyes. He has just increasingly become more “Sawyer”. Even as I write this he is giggling at his amusing Daddy! All of that to say…the nurses and doctors have told us that these are great signs but we are not completely out of the woods yet.
Medically what happened to Sawyer was he was a near-SIDS baby. He went without adequate oxygen for who knows how long, and this caused his little brain to become depressed. They gave him an EEG this morning which will tell us how his brain is functioning today, and they are watching him closely to see if his brain swells. If he were to have any swelling, it would present itself between now and the next 24 hours. They are calling this a brain trauma, and time will tell if there is any lasting damage. Right now we are claiming and BELIEVING for his COMPLETE healing.
At the beginning of each year, John and I ask God to give us a word to cling to what our year will be or look like. This year I felt the word God gave us was “Peace”, and one verse that promises peace is “Phillipians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” But preceding that verse is the command in Phillipians 4:6 (Message) “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.”
In the midst of what we were facing yesterday one of my friends who I told about my word texted me and said, “I’m praying. Peace.” When I read that I remembered “my word” and those verses flooded my mind and I knew God was asking us not to worry.
In the last 27 hours I have definitely battled with feelings of guilt, inadequacy, “what ifs” or “why didn’t I’s”. I am and will continue to work at giving those thoughts no place in my heart. His peace is real… and it is beyond my comprehension, b/c even in the midst of this I know HE is here and HE is working… and right now we are standing in amazement and are so grateful for everything that is happening, from the timing of finding him, to the outpouring of encouragement we’ve received, to the great care we’ve had for Maggie, and especially for the marked improvement in Sawyer’s condition.
Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. We will continue to update you with more information as it comes to us. Thank you, and know we love and appreciate you immensely.
Yesterday morning began as usual except that it was -20 outside. I am always concerned about my children being cold so I had my little Sawyer bundled up in nice fleece pajamas and laid him down for his morning nap in our bedroom, the room furthest from the noise of the rest of the house so he could get some good quiet sleep. He fell asleep on his side with our down comforter at his back kind of propping him up. I may have even covered him up with it a little, I can't quite remember. Sawyer is a great napper and it is not unusual for him to sleep 2+ hours especially in the morning. I hadn't heard from him for awhile so decided to go check on him. I went to our room and found that he had pulled the covers over his head, and when I lifted them up my little boy was staring into nothing and barely breathing. I have no idea how long he was like that or even if he had been crying and I just hadn't heard him. He was covered in sweat and his coloring was grey. I called 911 immediately and tried to keep him from falling asleep. He was rushed to the ER in an ambulance and later admitted into the pediatrics intensive care unit. He was unresponsive most of the day, meaning his vitals were good but they would shine a light in his eyes and nothing, or pick up his arm and it would immediately fall limp. He didn't even so much as cry when he was given an iv or catheter. Throughout the day Sawyer was put on multiple prayer chains across the US and as the day went on our little Soy Soy started to become more and more with it.
Sawyer started to become more himself yesterday evening…becoming angry when he was hungry (which is typical of him), and even gave me a sweet smile last night, something that absolutely brought tears to my eyes. He has just increasingly become more “Sawyer”. Even as I write this he is giggling at his amusing Daddy! All of that to say…the nurses and doctors have told us that these are great signs but we are not completely out of the woods yet.
Medically what happened to Sawyer was he was a near-SIDS baby. He went without adequate oxygen for who knows how long, and this caused his little brain to become depressed. They gave him an EEG this morning which will tell us how his brain is functioning today, and they are watching him closely to see if his brain swells. If he were to have any swelling, it would present itself between now and the next 24 hours. They are calling this a brain trauma, and time will tell if there is any lasting damage. Right now we are claiming and BELIEVING for his COMPLETE healing.
At the beginning of each year, John and I ask God to give us a word to cling to what our year will be or look like. This year I felt the word God gave us was “Peace”, and one verse that promises peace is “Phillipians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” But preceding that verse is the command in Phillipians 4:6 (Message) “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.”
In the midst of what we were facing yesterday one of my friends who I told about my word texted me and said, “I’m praying. Peace.” When I read that I remembered “my word” and those verses flooded my mind and I knew God was asking us not to worry.
In the last 27 hours I have definitely battled with feelings of guilt, inadequacy, “what ifs” or “why didn’t I’s”. I am and will continue to work at giving those thoughts no place in my heart. His peace is real… and it is beyond my comprehension, b/c even in the midst of this I know HE is here and HE is working… and right now we are standing in amazement and are so grateful for everything that is happening, from the timing of finding him, to the outpouring of encouragement we’ve received, to the great care we’ve had for Maggie, and especially for the marked improvement in Sawyer’s condition.
Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. We will continue to update you with more information as it comes to us. Thank you, and know we love and appreciate you immensely.
2/11/2009
11/23/2008
11/05/2008
Maggie's First Birthday!
The princess about to eat her first birthday cake...
She was so cute with this little stuffed dog from Aunt Donna and Uncle Bill. She unwrapped it and walked around with it giggling!
Time out from cake for a quick drink with Dad.
Cousin Rowan checking out the goods!
10/21/2008
A few fall pictures...
This could be an ad for Stove Top, right? One of her favorite things to do each morning is to empty the cupboards.
Posing in the park!
A freak October snow storm...this is our back yard! Something like 14 inches. The picture above was taken in the park Thursday, the picture below just 3 days later.
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