There's a Hand Still Holding

Ever struggle with your mistakes?  Do you ever feel defined by your failures?

If you are a believer, this is what is most true about you.

Though a righteous man may fall several times, he gets back up again (Proverbs 24:16).  You've fallen, but you are back on your feet.  We ALL fail (Romans 3:23).  It doesn't mean that's WHO you are.  You are clothed in righteousness (Isaiah 61:10).  You don't have to hide under shame.  You're a child of the King and you're covered in his robe of righteousness--pure, blameless, and holy.  He STILL delights in you.  He STILL rejoices over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).  Nothing, not even your shame and feelings of worthlessness can separate you from His love for you (Romans 8:39).  Your foot slipped but you did not FALL forever.  He sees your heart, He knows your brokenness, and He is NEAR (Isaiah 57:15).  He makes ALL things new--again and again (1 John 1:9).  His forgiveness is limitless (Matthew 18:27).

Do you want to be healed?  Then take up your mat and walk as if you are (Mark 2:9).  You are justified (Romans 5:1).  You've made your amends (Romans 12:18).  Now WALK.  And when those "I'm crippled" thoughts come, shut them down.  Recite to yourself "I am dearly loved, chosen, and holy because of Jesus" and then picture your Father covering you with His radiant robe.  What is MOST true is that you ARE dearly loved.  And when our Father looks at you, He sees someone He has chosen, who is holy and complete (Romans 6:12).

You'll see...

This morning I was dropping my kiddos off at a friend's house.  We were literally blocks from her house when I realized I had accidentally left the bag at home.  We had to turn around and go back to get it.

The kids began to boisterously complain. "What are you doing? Her house is that way! Why are we turning around?  Are we not going there at all?  You SAID we were going to their house!"

"Did Mom promise you you'd get to go there today?"  Yes.
"Does Mama lie?"  No.
"Can you trust me?"  (Silence)

The parallel was almost comical.

Here I sit.  And wait.  I wake up every morning like a pregnant woman in her 10th month of pregnancy, wondering if today will be the day we find out we can fly to Ethiopia to meet our precious boy...the one we see growing up in pictures, but whom we've never met.

And I ask my God the same whiny questions.  "What are you doing?!  Don't you see that plane ticket prices go up in June?  Why is it taking so long?  Why are you doing this to us?"

His response?  "You'll see."

Now, I know God doesn't forget anything--like I forgot that bag.  Instead, the Bible promises us that His thoughts and His ways are higher than ours.  In other words, He sees things we can't see.  Just like today, I knew what my kids did not.  I knew that making them wait a short while longer would do a few things for them.

1.  It would protect them.  I had packed hats and sunscreen.

2.  It would ensure they wouldn't grow weary.  I'd packed food and water.

3.  It would make the trip more enjoyable for them.  I'd packed dry clothes for after swimming.

So was I being mean to them by making them wait?  Did it FEEL to them like I was being mean?  Or was I going to make the morning so much better by making them wait?

Here's the delicate balance I find myself walking sometimes hourly these days.  Am I going to BELIEVE that I've got a GOOD Daddy who's allowing me to walk in this beautiful adventure with Him?  That He's got fun surprises in store for us?  While I don't understand what it is that He is up to,  it is going to be good, because He loves me? Or am I going to question His every move and be a bundle of nerves and fear?

Either way, I'm going to end up on Ethiopian soil sooner or later.

And then it'll all make sense.

This wait.

The "You'll see." that He's promised.

What it is He's prepared for us.  I cannot wait to share all the cool things that unfold.

Because He is perfect.

He is never late.

And He is GOOD.

You'll see.

A Fire in My Soul and a Song in My Heart

"I just have a feeling we're going to have to fight for him at some point."

That seems to be the way God works.  A person feels a calling, they go for it, and at some point, there's resistance.  Then, the person has to really fight for that dream to become a reality.  I think it's God's way of making us decide in our own hearts that we agree, and we WANT what he has called us to too.

Less than 2 weeks after my above statement, the fight began.

I won't go into all the gory details, but three weeks ago, we discovered that there was a very good chance this adoption would NOT be going through.  Overnight we were thrown into a whirlwind of lawyers, other families in a similar situation, a private investigator, the US Embassy, the US State Department, adoption agencies, etc., etc.  The final outcome: 

Things just got a whole lot harder.

I'd love to tell you that I was a solid rock through this, that my faith didn't waiver one little bit, and I knew from the start that all would be well. 

But that would be a lie.

My initial reaction to all of this was pure confusion.  If this adoption was not going to happen, then what the heck WAS that?  All that {see previous posts for the ALL that I'm referring to}?  Then thoughts of, "Well no one would blame us for NOT adopting, right?  This is just too much.  What if we spend all this money and we end up losing him anyway?"  But the worst most nagging feeling came more quietly.  It was the feeling that made me want to take his picture off my fridge and to put the picture of him on our mantle face down because to look at his big brown eyes brought me to instant tears: 

"What will happen to him if you DON'T fight?"

Soon, our decision was final.  We believe God has laid this whole crazy plot out before us, and although we've never met this little boy, we LOVE him.  We know full well that there's a chance we may lose this battle, but we are determined to at least go down swinging.

Five days after receiving the initial bad  news, I was driving home.  My day had started out rocky.  I received the bill from our private investigator and it was extravagant.  As I drove I was wondering where all of this would lead us financially.  Of course we would do this for any of our children, and I was feeling ready to fight for him, but I was also trying to be realistic about the cost.  Then I began clicking through the radio stations, and low and behold, "I Will Wait" was playing.

"I Will Wait For You" is my adoption anthem song.  From the first time I heard it, I felt like it was a cry from our future son saying "I'll be waiting for you to come get me".  I Will Wait gained popularity about 18 months ago, and every time I heard it I felt like it was a reminder of hope and a call to prayer.  I haven't heard it on the radio for a very long time, probably at least 6 months.

So I'm rounding the corner toward our home and I'm reminiscing--what are the chances that THAT song would come on the radio, especially when I hadn't heard it in so long?  Hearing it put me in the right state of mind again.  Whatever the cost, it is worth it.  He is worth it.  That song just had to be a gift from God.  I thanked Him for it. 

A new song began to play and I switched radio stations. 

And I kid you not, I pushed the button once,

and the VERY next station

is playing...

"I Will Wait". 

I pulled into my garage, turned it up, threw my hands in the air and cried.

Oh my sweet baby boy, we are coming for you.  We won't give up on you.  Keep waitin'. 

We Have Finally Seen the Face of Our Beautiful Baby Boy!!!

We could not be happier to announce that Friday we finally received our referral.  He is precious, so adorable, and everything we could have hoped and dreamed for.  Excitement has replaced our fears.  This journey just keeps getting better and better.

We have been told he is in the best of care.  The care center where he is at has a very low ratio of children to nannies.  The infants are treated quite well and are given oil massages morning and night, and bathed nightly.  He is actually chubby!  He looks so healthy. 

From here, we have been told it could take 6-10 months before we can bring him home.  We would so appreciate your prayers that it would be on the quicker end.  We are anxious to meet him in person and begin our lives together.

As soon as we are able to post pictures of him and share his name (after we clear court), we promise you'll get to look into his beautiful brown eyes too.  You are a part of this journey now too, and we're in this together, ok?  OK.  Thank you for walking this road along side of us.  

Sincerely,
The Maloney's

Our Video

Here is a short video that explains our hearts and what led us down this road.  Not a lot of bells and whistles, just the simple story of the miraculous ways God is bringing this whole thing together.  Thank you for being a part of this journey with us.

Sincerely,

The Maloney's

http://give1save1africa.blogspot.com/2013/08/new-family-meet-maloneys.html

We Got Picked!!!!

Right now I'm so excited and scared that I'm just trying to breathe!  I've been literally shaking for the past 2 hours, ever since I opened the email that said we GOT PICKED to be featured on Give1Save1africa.blogspot.com next week!  (See all the !!!?  That's what it feels like to be in the room with me right now--good grief, can you imagine what it's going to be like when we get the actual referral??)

We need your help though.  Starting Monday, our video will "debut".  Would you please consider sharing our video with as many people as you can?  Twitter, Facebook, Email, Blogs, whatever?  The success of our video really depends on how many people see it and the goal, in the words of Give1save1, is for it to go "viral".  I will share the link again here closer to next week so that you will know what to share.

That said, please hold our family up in prayer.  Our video lays out this whole story, the miraculous crazy things the Lord has done.  Please pray for protection over us and the video, that whoever watches it stands in awe of our great God, and that people would be drawn to HIM through it?

Please forgive me, the next few months may get a lil' dramatic!  :)  Knowing God and the way He typically moves in our lives, I suspect that our referral will be here any minute.  I feel like he must be throwing His head back and laughing in delight.  I love Him so much and am so grateful for His friendship.  The coolest thing about all of this journey is truly Him.  He's the prize.  We get to have friendship with Him today, and we can know He's going to carry us every step of the way, just like He's been so faithful to do this whole time.  Amen?  Amen.

The Wait

Lately we've been asked quite a bit where we are at in the adoption process, so here's a mini update:

We submitted our dossier (a huge pile of paperwork) at the end of March.  What a relief to have this part over with/officially out of our hands and into God's and His perfect timing.  Now we are on the "list", waiting for that fateful phone call that will tell us that they've found a child who matches our criteria.  We'll be asked to go to our computer, and then we'll open up the image of the little man who will be joining our family.

In the meantime, we wait.  And we pray.

We'd love it if you'd join us in praying too.  Our main prayer requests are:

1.  That he would get plenty of affection and held often.
2.  That he would get enough nutrition and food daily.
3.  Protection from sickness and danger.
4.  That he would come home as soon as possible in God's perfect time.
5.  That we'd enjoy our time with Maggie, Sawyer and Violet until then.

Thank you for joining in this journey with us.  It means so much.

p.s.  We finished filming our video 2 weeks ago and now Luke and Amy are editing it.  There is no guarantee our video will be "picked" to be featured on Give1Save1, but they choose their next lineup of videos on the 3rd Sunday in May.