We could not be happier to announce that Friday we finally received our referral. He is precious, so adorable, and everything we could have hoped and dreamed for. Excitement has replaced our fears. This journey just keeps getting better and better.
We have been told he is in the best of care. The care center where he is at has a very low ratio of children to nannies. The infants are treated quite well and are given oil massages morning and night, and bathed nightly. He is actually chubby! He looks so healthy.
From here, we have been told it could take 6-10 months before we can bring him home. We would so appreciate your prayers that it would be on the quicker end. We are anxious to meet him in person and begin our lives together.
As soon as we are able to post pictures of him and share his name (after we clear court), we promise you'll get to look into his beautiful brown eyes too. You are a part of this journey now too, and we're in this together, ok? OK. Thank you for walking this road along side of us.
Sincerely,
The Maloney's
8/26/2013
Our Video
Here is a short video that explains our hearts and what led us down this road. Not a lot of bells and whistles, just the simple story of the miraculous ways God is bringing this whole thing together. Thank you for being a part of this journey with us.
Sincerely,
The Maloney's
8/22/2013
We Got Picked!!!!
Right now I'm so excited and scared that I'm just trying to breathe! I've been literally shaking for the past 2 hours, ever since I opened the email that said we GOT PICKED to be featured on Give1Save1africa.blogspot.com next week! (See all the !!!? That's what it feels like to be in the room with me right now--good grief, can you imagine what it's going to be like when we get the actual referral??)
We need your help though. Starting Monday, our video will "debut". Would you please consider sharing our video with as many people as you can? Twitter, Facebook, Email, Blogs, whatever? The success of our video really depends on how many people see it and the goal, in the words of Give1save1, is for it to go "viral". I will share the link again here closer to next week so that you will know what to share.
That said, please hold our family up in prayer. Our video lays out this whole story, the miraculous crazy things the Lord has done. Please pray for protection over us and the video, that whoever watches it stands in awe of our great God, and that people would be drawn to HIM through it?
Please forgive me, the next few months may get a lil' dramatic! :) Knowing God and the way He typically moves in our lives, I suspect that our referral will be here any minute. I feel like he must be throwing His head back and laughing in delight. I love Him so much and am so grateful for His friendship. The coolest thing about all of this journey is truly Him. He's the prize. We get to have friendship with Him today, and we can know He's going to carry us every step of the way, just like He's been so faithful to do this whole time. Amen? Amen.
We need your help though. Starting Monday, our video will "debut". Would you please consider sharing our video with as many people as you can? Twitter, Facebook, Email, Blogs, whatever? The success of our video really depends on how many people see it and the goal, in the words of Give1save1, is for it to go "viral". I will share the link again here closer to next week so that you will know what to share.
That said, please hold our family up in prayer. Our video lays out this whole story, the miraculous crazy things the Lord has done. Please pray for protection over us and the video, that whoever watches it stands in awe of our great God, and that people would be drawn to HIM through it?
Please forgive me, the next few months may get a lil' dramatic! :) Knowing God and the way He typically moves in our lives, I suspect that our referral will be here any minute. I feel like he must be throwing His head back and laughing in delight. I love Him so much and am so grateful for His friendship. The coolest thing about all of this journey is truly Him. He's the prize. We get to have friendship with Him today, and we can know He's going to carry us every step of the way, just like He's been so faithful to do this whole time. Amen? Amen.
4/22/2013
The Wait
Lately we've been asked quite a bit where we are at in the adoption process, so here's a mini update:
We submitted our dossier (a huge pile of paperwork) at the end of March. What a relief to have this part over with/officially out of our hands and into God's and His perfect timing. Now we are on the "list", waiting for that fateful phone call that will tell us that they've found a child who matches our criteria. We'll be asked to go to our computer, and then we'll open up the image of the little man who will be joining our family.
We submitted our dossier (a huge pile of paperwork) at the end of March. What a relief to have this part over with/officially out of our hands and into God's and His perfect timing. Now we are on the "list", waiting for that fateful phone call that will tell us that they've found a child who matches our criteria. We'll be asked to go to our computer, and then we'll open up the image of the little man who will be joining our family.
In the meantime, we wait. And we pray.
We'd love it if you'd join us in praying too. Our main prayer requests are:
1. That he would get plenty of affection and held often.
2. That he would get enough nutrition and food daily.
3. Protection from sickness and danger.
4. That he would come home as soon as possible in God's perfect time.
5. That we'd enjoy our time with Maggie, Sawyer and Violet until then.
Thank you for joining in this journey with us. It means so much.
p.s. We finished filming our video 2 weeks ago and now Luke and Amy are editing it. There is no guarantee our video will be "picked" to be featured on Give1Save1, but they choose their next lineup of videos on the 3rd Sunday in May.
We'd love it if you'd join us in praying too. Our main prayer requests are:
1. That he would get plenty of affection and held often.
2. That he would get enough nutrition and food daily.
3. Protection from sickness and danger.
4. That he would come home as soon as possible in God's perfect time.
5. That we'd enjoy our time with Maggie, Sawyer and Violet until then.
Thank you for joining in this journey with us. It means so much.
p.s. We finished filming our video 2 weeks ago and now Luke and Amy are editing it. There is no guarantee our video will be "picked" to be featured on Give1Save1, but they choose their next lineup of videos on the 3rd Sunday in May.
3/28/2013
All Things Are Possible
The last couple of weeks have been more busy than usual. With that comes exhaustion, and with exhaustion, a familiar fear:
"There's no way I can handle another child."
And yet we've been putting one foot in front of the other out of sheer obedience to God, believing with all our hearts that He is behind this crazy idea.
Last week we had to submit our I-600 A. In laymen's terms (from what I gather), it gets the process going to allow our little one to become a US citizen. Along with this form, we had to submit a check for $720 to the Department of Homeland Security, and another check for fingerprints.
That night John and I went over the enormity of the financial mountain before us. We concluded our conversation with prayer, and asked God to provide.
Thursday morning I went to a ladies Bible study at Faith Chapel. During the songs, a friend of mine handed me a card that someone else had given her. When I opened the card I could not believe my eyes.
This card came from a kind woman I don't even know super well. Last year we were in a few meetings together but this year I have only passed her in the hall maybe once. I'm not even sure how she knew that we are adopting, but her card simply said:
"With God, All Things Are Possible".
And out fell a check for $720.
Seven hundred and twenty dollars! Not $700 even, or even $725 or $750, but $720. The EXACT same number I had written on a check just the day before.
I took a picture just because I wanted others to get to see it too. My carbon copy check is the one on top, and hers on bottom (I covered her address and bank number, thought that'd be the kind thing to do while blogging publicly). You can see the date on mine is 3/20, and the date on hers is 3/21.
Even more than the financial aspect of it, her family's gift truly brightened my entire soul! It gave me renewed hope that we must surely be on the right path and God has not brought us this far to watch us fail.
3/03/2013
Kinda Coming Together
A couple of months back, I came across a great website that features one adoptive family each week, and followers of this site (who are typically other adoptive families) donate $1 or more to help the featured family raise the adoption funds. I decided to contact them, and ask what it takes to be a featured family.
The response was that they have many applicants and there is no guarantee you will be chosen. But the real kicker? You have to submit a 3-5 minute video. They even provided me with 3 examples, and they were rediculously creative and good.
My first thought? "Ok, we're out." Seriously people, just look at this blog! No offense to me, I'm just not that good with technical things. Then there's the idea of being that up front in a public video...umm, Forget It! (Confession: Even writing this blog terrifies me!)
But my second thought? "You should call Amy Larsen"
Amy is an incredibly talented graphic designer, who recently quit her job and is now staying home full time with her two small children. I didn't know if this was even within her scope but impulsively went ahead and called her. And she just happened to answer.
I describe to Amy what I just told you. Amy's sweet soft spoken voice replied:
The response was that they have many applicants and there is no guarantee you will be chosen. But the real kicker? You have to submit a 3-5 minute video. They even provided me with 3 examples, and they were rediculously creative and good.
My first thought? "Ok, we're out." Seriously people, just look at this blog! No offense to me, I'm just not that good with technical things. Then there's the idea of being that up front in a public video...umm, Forget It! (Confession: Even writing this blog terrifies me!)
But my second thought? "You should call Amy Larsen"
Amy is an incredibly talented graphic designer, who recently quit her job and is now staying home full time with her two small children. I didn't know if this was even within her scope but impulsively went ahead and called her. And she just happened to answer.
I describe to Amy what I just told you. Amy's sweet soft spoken voice replied:
"I don't even think we're going to have to pray about this. Luke [her husband] is starting to do videography on the side and he just bought a bunch of new equipment. Just a few days ago he said
'Do you think the Maloney's would think it was weird if I asked
if we could film a video about their adoption?'"
I was literally covered in head to toe chills. I mean, we still have to film and our video still has to be chosen...but still, right?! Amazing.
Recently I heard a story about Mother Theressa. She was quoted as saying something along the lines of how we don't have to have a ton of clarity or a completed master plan on exactly what we want to accomplish...but rather simple trust in God. It got me thinking...how much in her life just kind of happend? I mean, maybe she just took it one day at a time, one step at a time, one person, one hurdle, and one moment at a time? And maybe, as she walked with God, prayed, read His word, and loved others...maybe things just kinda came together? I don't know about you, but I want this level of trust...and I desperately want HIM to be the one who gets the credit for things "just kinda coming together".
Thanks for traveling this exciting journey with us!
Thanks for traveling this exciting journey with us!
2/11/2013
Giants
So...where we left off last time is that we had hit "submit" and paid our homestudy fee...we were IN on this adoption, officially excited.
I will say it has been difficult deciding which agency to pick for the adoption. Our church has done all of their adoptions through one particular agency. (FYI--the Home Study and the Agency are completely seperate). However, every time I have tried to go through this agency, I literally got a sickening feeling in my stomach. Well, after hitting the submit button to pay for the home study, the next step was to apply for an agency. Because this agency was who everyone was going through and they are very reputable and move a lot of kids, I applied for it..."C'mon Lace, just bite the bullet, get over whatever it is that's holding you back, just go." That was Friday night. Applied, paid $350, done.
Monday. We had our social worker come over and conduct our home study. Basically, they review your paperwork and make sure you'll be a fit parent, not an alcoholic, and that your home doesn't have loaded guns lying around, etc. Again...moving forward. Step #2, check!
Then our social worker left. And I checked my email.
The agency rejected us. (not the lady who had just left our home but the agency--just in case you were worried she did find loaded guns lying around)
Oh they had pretty words for it, like government audits and they weren't accepting new families and that they wouldn't process our payment bla bla bla...and I felt like I had been gut punched. The same familiar accusations swam through my mind, "Did I even hear from God? Are we truly even supposed to adopt or was this just me?"
Tuesday. 9:30 a.m. I send out a frustrated email to some of my closest friends, asking them to pray because I'm discouraged. Basically my email said something like "I am tired. I just wish I knew whether we were IN or OUT...I don't think I can be in between anymore."
10:30 a.m. I get a message from Caryl, remember, my friend visiting Ethiopia? The one who before she left I confided in regarding this crazy story...asking her to look for a baby boy between 1-2 months of age with the name God had told me and both of my kids had said? Ok, I'll just let you read exactly what wrote:
"Hello sweetie I want you to know that we went to an orphanage today tikuret here in Awassa and there was a one month old baby named ____, you were there with me. I asked which child he was and they allowed me to take a picture of him and he smiled at me. We are trying to figure out the adoption situation here and will visit with the orphanage director regarding what all this looks like."
I went from being heartsick to being estatic...and then I basically spent the entire day crying and laughing and walking around in circles. I did call Pastor Tim, and he was very supportive but did caution me..."Lacey, I know you're excited. But I want you to be aware, this is actually a very common name in Ethiopia." To which I replied, "Yea but how could I have known that?!"
In essence, after calling the social worker and asking around, I learned that there is really very little I could do to place a "hold" on this child. And with the surprise government audits that had caused the agency to reject us, who knew when we could apply for another agency.
Wednesday. I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by an emotional freight train. And then I spent some time with my Father. Oh how He loves us friends. And here's what He showed me:
We are like a boat navigating rocky water. In this process I will experience extreme highs and extreme lows. And I can ride those...or, I can hold on to the anchor, the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I can bury my head in His chest, and hold on while He navigates us through this.
This must've been a little bit of what the Isrealites faced when they finally got to the Promised Land. Like holy smokes, what He said is really coming to pass. They could see that the land was beautiful, it was full of possibilities and promise...and it was filled with giants. And they had no idea how they would defeat them, how they would get from here to there...NO way of knowing the adventure that was ahead of them and all of the divine ways God was going to move on their behalf.
By the way, that agency that rejected us? This week they announced that they are filing for bankruptcy. God spared us from losing a single penny.
Thank you for joining us on this crazy adventure. More than anything we appreciate your prayers for our little boy...and all of the children living in Ethiopia without parents.
I will say it has been difficult deciding which agency to pick for the adoption. Our church has done all of their adoptions through one particular agency. (FYI--the Home Study and the Agency are completely seperate). However, every time I have tried to go through this agency, I literally got a sickening feeling in my stomach. Well, after hitting the submit button to pay for the home study, the next step was to apply for an agency. Because this agency was who everyone was going through and they are very reputable and move a lot of kids, I applied for it..."C'mon Lace, just bite the bullet, get over whatever it is that's holding you back, just go." That was Friday night. Applied, paid $350, done.
Monday. We had our social worker come over and conduct our home study. Basically, they review your paperwork and make sure you'll be a fit parent, not an alcoholic, and that your home doesn't have loaded guns lying around, etc. Again...moving forward. Step #2, check!
Then our social worker left. And I checked my email.
The agency rejected us. (not the lady who had just left our home but the agency--just in case you were worried she did find loaded guns lying around)
Oh they had pretty words for it, like government audits and they weren't accepting new families and that they wouldn't process our payment bla bla bla...and I felt like I had been gut punched. The same familiar accusations swam through my mind, "Did I even hear from God? Are we truly even supposed to adopt or was this just me?"
Tuesday. 9:30 a.m. I send out a frustrated email to some of my closest friends, asking them to pray because I'm discouraged. Basically my email said something like "I am tired. I just wish I knew whether we were IN or OUT...I don't think I can be in between anymore."
10:30 a.m. I get a message from Caryl, remember, my friend visiting Ethiopia? The one who before she left I confided in regarding this crazy story...asking her to look for a baby boy between 1-2 months of age with the name God had told me and both of my kids had said? Ok, I'll just let you read exactly what wrote:
"Hello sweetie I want you to know that we went to an orphanage today tikuret here in Awassa and there was a one month old baby named ____, you were there with me. I asked which child he was and they allowed me to take a picture of him and he smiled at me. We are trying to figure out the adoption situation here and will visit with the orphanage director regarding what all this looks like."
I went from being heartsick to being estatic...and then I basically spent the entire day crying and laughing and walking around in circles. I did call Pastor Tim, and he was very supportive but did caution me..."Lacey, I know you're excited. But I want you to be aware, this is actually a very common name in Ethiopia." To which I replied, "Yea but how could I have known that?!"
In essence, after calling the social worker and asking around, I learned that there is really very little I could do to place a "hold" on this child. And with the surprise government audits that had caused the agency to reject us, who knew when we could apply for another agency.
Wednesday. I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by an emotional freight train. And then I spent some time with my Father. Oh how He loves us friends. And here's what He showed me:
We are like a boat navigating rocky water. In this process I will experience extreme highs and extreme lows. And I can ride those...or, I can hold on to the anchor, the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I can bury my head in His chest, and hold on while He navigates us through this.
This must've been a little bit of what the Isrealites faced when they finally got to the Promised Land. Like holy smokes, what He said is really coming to pass. They could see that the land was beautiful, it was full of possibilities and promise...and it was filled with giants. And they had no idea how they would defeat them, how they would get from here to there...NO way of knowing the adventure that was ahead of them and all of the divine ways God was going to move on their behalf.
By the way, that agency that rejected us? This week they announced that they are filing for bankruptcy. God spared us from losing a single penny.
Thank you for joining us on this crazy adventure. More than anything we appreciate your prayers for our little boy...and all of the children living in Ethiopia without parents.
2/09/2013
Submit
I'd procrastinated...December was insane...sick kids, John working a lot, prepping for Christmas, Christmas parties, dance recytles, etc...left me a lil' haggared. I shelfed the adoption and wouldn't even allow myself to think about it.
We have friends who were going to visit Ethiopia in January and I decided to tell my friend the name and age I thought this little boy would be when she visited, and ask her to look around for him. If she found him, great. If not, then we would wait a year to adopt. I could understand the wisdom in this...logically who would blame us? We would be so much more equipped to handle an adoption a year from now.
Then in a matter of 2 days...everything changed.
A friend of mine shared what the Hopkins family are doing http://howmanyis2many.blogspot.com/2013/01/our-newest-additions.html After reading this I was completely broken. "C'mon Lacey, seriously! These guys are adopting 4 and you're being such a wuss." But what really struck me about this family was that they didn't require a ton of signs or evidence to know that they wanted these kids in their family...they just saw a need and are meeting it.
The next day, we got together with Pastor Tim Wiedlich to talk. Pastor Tim is AMAZING! Truly. He is one of those people that the more you get to know him the more you like him even still. He made us feel so cared for and validated. Toward the end of our conversation I said "Tim, I was sure hoping you'd just tell us what we are supposed to do"...He said "Well Lacey I have my opinions." Me: "So what are they?" Him:."I think you guys should adopt from Ethiopia. Just do it."
Now at this point, John and I had completed much of the fist step in the adoption process, we just needed to pay the fee to get the report written up (Home Study). So the next day...I couldn't get away from this. Should we or shouldn't we adopt? John had told me "Lacey, the next time you say we're going to adopt, then WE ARE GOING TO ADOPT. You won't get to change your mind." Oh that wise man of mine.
I decided I'd type in all of my credit card info to pay for the homestudy. Then I stepped away. I cleaned the house like a mad woman and was praying and asking God to please stop me if this was wrong. All I could think in my brain was
"You will never regret doing this. But if you don't, you will regret it your entire life".
So I finally went back to the computer and hit submit!!!
And with it, a giant toppling wave of joy and peace washed over me, and I gave myself permission to get really really excited.
We have friends who were going to visit Ethiopia in January and I decided to tell my friend the name and age I thought this little boy would be when she visited, and ask her to look around for him. If she found him, great. If not, then we would wait a year to adopt. I could understand the wisdom in this...logically who would blame us? We would be so much more equipped to handle an adoption a year from now.
Then in a matter of 2 days...everything changed.
A friend of mine shared what the Hopkins family are doing http://howmanyis2many.blogspot.com/2013/01/our-newest-additions.html After reading this I was completely broken. "C'mon Lacey, seriously! These guys are adopting 4 and you're being such a wuss." But what really struck me about this family was that they didn't require a ton of signs or evidence to know that they wanted these kids in their family...they just saw a need and are meeting it.
The next day, we got together with Pastor Tim Wiedlich to talk. Pastor Tim is AMAZING! Truly. He is one of those people that the more you get to know him the more you like him even still. He made us feel so cared for and validated. Toward the end of our conversation I said "Tim, I was sure hoping you'd just tell us what we are supposed to do"...He said "Well Lacey I have my opinions." Me: "So what are they?" Him:."I think you guys should adopt from Ethiopia. Just do it."
Now at this point, John and I had completed much of the fist step in the adoption process, we just needed to pay the fee to get the report written up (Home Study). So the next day...I couldn't get away from this. Should we or shouldn't we adopt? John had told me "Lacey, the next time you say we're going to adopt, then WE ARE GOING TO ADOPT. You won't get to change your mind." Oh that wise man of mine.
I decided I'd type in all of my credit card info to pay for the homestudy. Then I stepped away. I cleaned the house like a mad woman and was praying and asking God to please stop me if this was wrong. All I could think in my brain was
"You will never regret doing this. But if you don't, you will regret it your entire life".
So I finally went back to the computer and hit submit!!!
And with it, a giant toppling wave of joy and peace washed over me, and I gave myself permission to get really really excited.
1/19/2013
God Still Speaks
I’ve been on a private journey since March of 2012.
I have a huge heart for Africa. I’m not someone who enjoys sad stories or hearing of children suffering, and yet I cannot seem to shake Africa…there is this hope and inspiration within me that I somehow have the potential to do something about it…I am drawn to Africa, I pray for Africa, I cry for Africa.
However, it has not been on my radar to adopt.
The exact opposite actually. Back in March, someone asked me “Lacey, why don’t you go to Ethiopia [on one of Harvest’s work crews for a short-term missions trip]”…I just laughed, but in the back of my mind I thought to myself “no way…because if I did that I’d want to bring one of those kids home with me and that’s the last thing I need”. Fast forward a week later.
I woke up to spend time with God before my kids woke up. I was sitting in my loveseat watching the sunrise. I was worshipping God and thanking Him for all he has given me and done in our lives. It was one of those rare moments where you just FEEL God in the room, know He is there and you are enveloped in His presence. I looked at the wall that has the professional pictures of Maggie, Sawyer, and Violet each taken when they were babies. I was thanking Him for my children. Then, I felt like he said:
I was initially excited, and then filled with dread as I know the work required for one more child. I proceeded to argue with God about how I couldn’t do it, that it was a really bad move, one I’m not capable of. Then He gentle told me many things about this child…he told me about his mother, when he would be conceived, when he would be born, what his life would look like if we decided against adopting him. He even told me his name. I decided to keep this to myself for a few days. I even made a 3 page list of all the reasons this would be hard.
Filled with fear and excitement, I decided I needed to tell John. I prayed and completely gave it to God. I knew that if John shot it down, thought I was stirring the “chaos pot” or that he could never love a baby that wasn’t his own, that it was a done deal. So my “vision” was on a Wednesday, and John and I were going on a date that Friday night. Over dinner, I shared the whole shpeal with John and then waited for his reaction. He listened intently and then grabbed my hand across the table and looked me in the eyes and said
We talked and John agreed it was something we could do…years down the road. This conflicted with my belief of when this baby would be born, but after obsessing and getting completely unbalanced, I felt like God told me in May to let it go. I knew I needed to trust John and let him lead and to not try to control or worry. I had this strong inkling that one day, we would look at each other and say “Now. We’re supposed to begin the paperwork now.”
Let me pause to say there have also been 3 different times throughout this where I have begged God to give me a “sign”. I have battled myself hard wondering if I “made this up”, especially considering how many books and blogs I’ve read on Africa. I wondered if this was just me and addicted behavior…like it’s not enough to sponsor a child now I want to have one come and live with me?! It all seems pretty crazy right? And the underlying pervasive fear all along has been “I can’t do this. I’m incapable. I won’t be able to handle this.” I decided to stop reading books and blogs and see if this would go away.
Sign #1. While the kids were napping one Friday last spring, I hit this emotional wall and I just begged God to please show me if this was from Him or not. I told Him “I just have to know God, it’s killing me”. The next day, Meisha brought me a card with a check in it for $1000. I told her, Meisha, we are doing well, we don’t need this money. She said, “Look Lacey, both Zamien (her husband) and I felt like God told us to give this money to you guys. If we didn’t do it, we’d be disobeying Him.”. I thought for sure John would be adamant about not taking this money. Instead he said “Well, it just proves that money won’t be the thing that holds us back from adoption.” We accepted the money and put it in a savings account titled “Africa”.
Sign #2. I was putting Sawyer to bed one night and I asked him if he would like to have a baby brother. Of course he said yes. Then I said, “what would you like to name him?” Then he said the exact same name God told me was his name. I never told anyone but John that name.
In August John and I went on a date. It was very anti-climactic, but John looked at me and said “You can begin the paperwork tomorrow if you want to.” All along John had been the one holding back, and when he said we could move forward, I got really scared. I just couldn’t’ move forward. I’d reason “but God, we really need a new car instead of putting our tax return toward this adoption”…then he would remind me, “Your cars work. You will feel foolish when you hold this child in your arms and think, I almost traded him for a car.” I even thought “With as expensive adoption is, we could put that money toward supporting a ton of kids over in Ethiopia instead.” And He’d reply “I desire obedience more than sacrifice. And it would never happen. That money will just disappear in the black hole of everyday expenses.” Or I would think “I just can’t do this. It will be too hard.” He would respond “If you really understood how much I love you, you would fear nothing. I will be with you every step of the way.” And “Now you’re getting to where I want you. You aren’t obsessing. You realize that I am the prize today, and that I will be with you today and tomorrow.”
Sign #3. When we came home from New York, I especially was struggling with whether or not I had actually heard from God, if this was truly the way he wanted us to go. Let’s be honest, it’d sure be easier NOT to do this. We went to a worship service and Pastor Vern talked about how God spoke through fire in the Bible. That night I again begged God to please speak clearly to me and to show me that this was for sure the way he was leading us. I asked him to speak through fire. That night, as I was putting Maggie to bed, she said “Mom, I want a little brother from Africa.” I said, “Oh yea? If we did get a little brother from Africa, what do you think his name should be? “…then she too said the exact same name I had originally “gotten” that morning and the same name Sawyer had said this summer. I shot straight up and said "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!"
So I’ve waited a few months since John said go, and I can’t fight this any longer. I feel like there’s this child in Africa who belongs to our family. I went running in August, and I prayed asking God to just show himself to me in this…I felt like he told me that our family wasn’t created to be a “normal” soccer/t-ball/dance lesson/mini-van family. That he created us for something bigger.
When I look at this objectively, it looks pretty ridiculous and crazy. But when I look at it with my heart, I am excited to be a part of something that requires so much faith and trust in God, that we get to have another child in our family to love and point toward God. Every time I have a fear, I pray about that or against it. I know this isn’t going to be easy. In fact, I admit it will be hard. It’s not where I ever saw my life going…but I’m not trying to be in the driver’s seat of my life…I want my life to matter for eternity…I want to do the MOST good with my life here on earth, and this seems to be the clear way He’s pointed us. I don’t know how or what this will look like. I absolutely don’t and have not taken this lightly. But I feel immense peace and even excitement as we walk in this direction.
Alllll of this to say, I wanted you guys to know what we are doing and why. Understandably, people will have fears and objections. Those are warranted! This is a scary thing. But it’s also a good thing. And with God by our sides, it has the potential to bring great glory to His name. We appreciate your prayers.
At this point, we are beginning the initial phases of the process. From what I know it could take as little as 9 months and as much as 2 years before we will have the 4th baby boy in our family. Please know that we have NOT taken this decision lightly or blindly, or without much agonizing, prayer, worry, and faith. It would mean the world to us to have you in our corner.
Respectfully,
Lacey Lou
I have a huge heart for Africa. I’m not someone who enjoys sad stories or hearing of children suffering, and yet I cannot seem to shake Africa…there is this hope and inspiration within me that I somehow have the potential to do something about it…I am drawn to Africa, I pray for Africa, I cry for Africa.
However, it has not been on my radar to adopt.
The exact opposite actually. Back in March, someone asked me “Lacey, why don’t you go to Ethiopia [on one of Harvest’s work crews for a short-term missions trip]”…I just laughed, but in the back of my mind I thought to myself “no way…because if I did that I’d want to bring one of those kids home with me and that’s the last thing I need”. Fast forward a week later.
I woke up to spend time with God before my kids woke up. I was sitting in my loveseat watching the sunrise. I was worshipping God and thanking Him for all he has given me and done in our lives. It was one of those rare moments where you just FEEL God in the room, know He is there and you are enveloped in His presence. I looked at the wall that has the professional pictures of Maggie, Sawyer, and Violet each taken when they were babies. I was thanking Him for my children. Then, I felt like he said:
“There’s going to be a 4th picture there, and it’s going to be a black baby boy”.
And for a split second, I saw that picture of this precious black baby
(taken similarly to the other 3 kids' pictures and to the right of them).
I was initially excited, and then filled with dread as I know the work required for one more child. I proceeded to argue with God about how I couldn’t do it, that it was a really bad move, one I’m not capable of. Then He gentle told me many things about this child…he told me about his mother, when he would be conceived, when he would be born, what his life would look like if we decided against adopting him. He even told me his name. I decided to keep this to myself for a few days. I even made a 3 page list of all the reasons this would be hard.
Filled with fear and excitement, I decided I needed to tell John. I prayed and completely gave it to God. I knew that if John shot it down, thought I was stirring the “chaos pot” or that he could never love a baby that wasn’t his own, that it was a done deal. So my “vision” was on a Wednesday, and John and I were going on a date that Friday night. Over dinner, I shared the whole shpeal with John and then waited for his reaction. He listened intently and then grabbed my hand across the table and looked me in the eyes and said
“Lace, I always knew we’d adopt a baby from Africa. But how could I have put that on you?
Only God could have told you that.”
We talked and John agreed it was something we could do…years down the road. This conflicted with my belief of when this baby would be born, but after obsessing and getting completely unbalanced, I felt like God told me in May to let it go. I knew I needed to trust John and let him lead and to not try to control or worry. I had this strong inkling that one day, we would look at each other and say “Now. We’re supposed to begin the paperwork now.”
Let me pause to say there have also been 3 different times throughout this where I have begged God to give me a “sign”. I have battled myself hard wondering if I “made this up”, especially considering how many books and blogs I’ve read on Africa. I wondered if this was just me and addicted behavior…like it’s not enough to sponsor a child now I want to have one come and live with me?! It all seems pretty crazy right? And the underlying pervasive fear all along has been “I can’t do this. I’m incapable. I won’t be able to handle this.” I decided to stop reading books and blogs and see if this would go away.
Sign #1. While the kids were napping one Friday last spring, I hit this emotional wall and I just begged God to please show me if this was from Him or not. I told Him “I just have to know God, it’s killing me”. The next day, Meisha brought me a card with a check in it for $1000. I told her, Meisha, we are doing well, we don’t need this money. She said, “Look Lacey, both Zamien (her husband) and I felt like God told us to give this money to you guys. If we didn’t do it, we’d be disobeying Him.”. I thought for sure John would be adamant about not taking this money. Instead he said “Well, it just proves that money won’t be the thing that holds us back from adoption.” We accepted the money and put it in a savings account titled “Africa”.
Sign #2. I was putting Sawyer to bed one night and I asked him if he would like to have a baby brother. Of course he said yes. Then I said, “what would you like to name him?” Then he said the exact same name God told me was his name. I never told anyone but John that name.
In August John and I went on a date. It was very anti-climactic, but John looked at me and said “You can begin the paperwork tomorrow if you want to.” All along John had been the one holding back, and when he said we could move forward, I got really scared. I just couldn’t’ move forward. I’d reason “but God, we really need a new car instead of putting our tax return toward this adoption”…then he would remind me, “Your cars work. You will feel foolish when you hold this child in your arms and think, I almost traded him for a car.” I even thought “With as expensive adoption is, we could put that money toward supporting a ton of kids over in Ethiopia instead.” And He’d reply “I desire obedience more than sacrifice. And it would never happen. That money will just disappear in the black hole of everyday expenses.” Or I would think “I just can’t do this. It will be too hard.” He would respond “If you really understood how much I love you, you would fear nothing. I will be with you every step of the way.” And “Now you’re getting to where I want you. You aren’t obsessing. You realize that I am the prize today, and that I will be with you today and tomorrow.”
Sign #3. When we came home from New York, I especially was struggling with whether or not I had actually heard from God, if this was truly the way he wanted us to go. Let’s be honest, it’d sure be easier NOT to do this. We went to a worship service and Pastor Vern talked about how God spoke through fire in the Bible. That night I again begged God to please speak clearly to me and to show me that this was for sure the way he was leading us. I asked him to speak through fire. That night, as I was putting Maggie to bed, she said “Mom, I want a little brother from Africa.” I said, “Oh yea? If we did get a little brother from Africa, what do you think his name should be? “…then she too said the exact same name I had originally “gotten” that morning and the same name Sawyer had said this summer. I shot straight up and said "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!"
So I’ve waited a few months since John said go, and I can’t fight this any longer. I feel like there’s this child in Africa who belongs to our family. I went running in August, and I prayed asking God to just show himself to me in this…I felt like he told me that our family wasn’t created to be a “normal” soccer/t-ball/dance lesson/mini-van family. That he created us for something bigger.
When I look at this objectively, it looks pretty ridiculous and crazy. But when I look at it with my heart, I am excited to be a part of something that requires so much faith and trust in God, that we get to have another child in our family to love and point toward God. Every time I have a fear, I pray about that or against it. I know this isn’t going to be easy. In fact, I admit it will be hard. It’s not where I ever saw my life going…but I’m not trying to be in the driver’s seat of my life…I want my life to matter for eternity…I want to do the MOST good with my life here on earth, and this seems to be the clear way He’s pointed us. I don’t know how or what this will look like. I absolutely don’t and have not taken this lightly. But I feel immense peace and even excitement as we walk in this direction.
Alllll of this to say, I wanted you guys to know what we are doing and why. Understandably, people will have fears and objections. Those are warranted! This is a scary thing. But it’s also a good thing. And with God by our sides, it has the potential to bring great glory to His name. We appreciate your prayers.
At this point, we are beginning the initial phases of the process. From what I know it could take as little as 9 months and as much as 2 years before we will have the 4th baby boy in our family. Please know that we have NOT taken this decision lightly or blindly, or without much agonizing, prayer, worry, and faith. It would mean the world to us to have you in our corner.
Respectfully,
Lacey Lou
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